cancer
An Inconvenience
Monday, November 17th, 2008 | Cancer Survivor | 1 Comment
Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. I looked back on my last entry and could not believe that my last entry was September. I realized that I really left everyone riding the crazy roller coaster. Not good. I’m sorry about that. I guess that it was just too raw to write that I found out that I have breast cancer, after being a seven year survivor of fallopian tube cancer, and am a BRCA 1 gene mutant. I think that being a Ninja turtle mutant would be better. At least then, I could wear a crazy costume and be a hero. But, I have to deal with the cards (or make that the genes) I was dealt. In a strange, weird way, finding out about the BRCA 1 gene mutation made me feel better. I always wondered what I did to get cancer (now two cancers). I wondered if it was where I lived or how I ate or drank. But, I’ve always had a healthy lifestyle, so that did not make sense. So, a small inside voice kept telling me that it was because I was a perfectionist and always had to do everything 150%. I thought it was because my closet was color coded and all my pantry items labeled. Of course, finding out about my bad genetic code, made me worry more for my son (and sibilings) who now has a 50/50 chance of being BRCA1 positive too and all the implications that it has for him. The counselors tell me that this genetic stuff can be very tricky. Parents feel guilty, siblings without it feel guilty. Insurance companies don’t want to cover you, which is now against the law—but you know how that goes.
I’m just glad to now have two needle biopsies, a needle location, and a lumpectomy behind me. We’re still waiting on a clear margin from the lumpectomy biopsy, so we can move forward to radiation and tamoxifen. I was disappointed that I didn’t get my anticipated Dixie cup during the needle location. During needle location, prior to surgery, they insert a long wire into the breast for the surgeon to follow when operating. This wire extends to the outside and is usually covered by a Dixie cup for protection until surgery. My wire was lying against my chest, so I didn’t need the Dixie cup. Gosh, too bad, I was sort of looking forward to the Madonna jokes! All things considered, the surgery was the easiest of the past five that I’ve had in seven years since my first diagnosis in 2001. As usual, I was awake as they rolled me into the operating room. It seems it takes a while for me to succumb to anesthesia. I was chatting with the nurses when the lights went out. I woke up, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, as my father would say, and started cracking jokes about my leg wraps (to prevent blood clots) that looked like the Michelin tire guy. That was it for the nurses. They said it was time to move me to the next level. See where a little sense of humor will get you—right out of the recovery room to the “Step Down” area. That’s where you get to see your family and drink ginger ale. Ah-h eureka!
So, we’re praying for a clear margin so we won’t have to travel another five hours to Charlotte, to do this all over again. I told my surgeon to be sure and get it all because I planned on doing Thanksgiving as usual with my family and to get my house ready for the Christmas tour on December 6th. She looked at me as if I were crazy. I replied to that by telling her that cancer is just an inconvenience. I like to think that is the case. It makes it easier to cope.
Hills and Valleys and Shadows
Monday, September 15th, 2008 | Adult Children, Birthdays, Cancer Survivor, Retirement, Teachers | 2 Comments
Well, I left you hanging last week with no blogs while I was riding the roller coaster of life—all of the ups and downs associated with being a cancer survivor. A lot has happened since then. Here are just a few of the hills and the valleys—amazing what can transpire in a short period of time that impacts your life.
Let’s begin with the high notes
A “54 kid turns 54—Not a Kid Anymore
Last Wednesday, I turned 54 years of age. I’ve been kidding about being born in ’54 and turning 54—seems an oddity, doesn’t it? Of course I’d rather be that than born in ’21 and turning 21—means it would be 1942 and we’d be in the midst of World War II without knowing the outcome. My son asked if I thought he’d make it to 83 years of age, since he was born in 1983. My reply was…not if you keep smoking you won’t. There I go into Mom Mode again!
Celebrating Retirement—Again??
My dear friends, Ed Hodges, who retired at the end of last school year, and Anna Sizemore, my media center cohort, hosted a wonderful retirement party for me on Friday. It was good to see my WHS family and friends. My most treasured gift was a folk art still life painted by Miss Lucretia Hughes of Washington. I understand she was quite the Renaissance woman who did many things well—genealogy, gardening, and painting, just to name a few. Mr. Hodges ( I apologize—hard to get out of teacher mode) acquired the painting through the long standing close relationship between his family and Miss Lucretia. His gift was so special because it was a meaningful token of our mutual respect and love of this town, its people and history. My hubby also was thrilled to see a family artifact of Mr. Hodges’. My hubby and he are descendents of Matthew Midgett, and Mr. Hodges has an old powder horn that belonged to Matthews’s son, Thomas Midgett. The horn is dated 1747 and has personal carvings, somewhat like scrimshaw, decorating the rim and edge. It was a true thrill of my husband to be able to touch and hold something that belonged to his family so long ago.
I always wondered if I’d ever stay anywhere long enough professionally to have a retirement party. So, this meant a lot to me. I quantified my career in my head this week—you do that when you retire and actually have time to think. Here’s what I figured out:
Elementary classroom teacher: six years in two states, 3 school districts, and taught six different grade levels or combinations: kindergarten-first, third, third-fourth, fourth, fourth-fifth, fifth grades. Central and Hardeeville Elementary Schools in South Carolina, Newland Elementary in North Carolina
Media specialist—best known as librarian: twelve years in four different schools, three different school districts, and two levels, elementary and high school. Chapel Grove Elementary & New Hope Elementary in Gaston County, Hornets Nest in Charlotte-Mecklenburg, and Washington High School in Washington.
Teacher Resource Center Director for Gaston County: 3.5 years
Instructional Technology Specialist for Gaston County: 3.5 years
Instructional Technology Director for Rowan-Salisbury Schools: 3 years
Professional Development Specialist for Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools: 2 years
Curriculum Development Director for ENTech (now known as QTL) developing a statewide technology-training program for teachers: 2 years
Whew—it makes me tired just thinking about it—think of all those teachers and young’uns!!!— as they called them in Newland, when I taught there. Not to mention, overhead projector bulbs, Vis-a-Vis pens, flip charts, Power Point presentations, floppy disks and flash drives, and DOS commands—yes, I even go back that far! C:> dir (just a little encryption for those of you that can go back there with me). And the C:> is not some new kind of smiley face either—although it could be…think of a big bubble hair do C with a pointed noise >–oops sounds like Tammy Faye! Man, am I ever getting off track because I don’t want to talk about the valleys!
Okay, if we have to go there, we must… to the valleys. Although, did you know that my minister told me that the quote about the valley of the shadow of death in Psalm 23 is probably a mistranslation. In the heat of the Middle East in Biblical times and now, to be in a shadow is where there is life. In the scorching sun is where one would most likely die. Interesting way to look at it, isn’t it?
One Big Valley
I found out last Monday, that not only am I a fallopian tube cancer survivor of seven years, but, now I’m a breast cancer survivor, also. My needle biopsy came back positive for DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ), meaning cancer of the breast milk ducts in place (in situ) meaning contained within the ducts. They say that is the BEST breast cancer to have—of course, I beg to differ, that NO breast cancer is the best kind. But, I’ll take it over the more aggressive ones like HER2, which my dear sweet friend, more like adopted daughter, Tiffany is fighting (and winning, I might add).
So, I have an appointment with my oncologist next week to discuss treatment—probably a lumpectomy and/or radiation and/or chemo.
So, there it is…I’ve written it in my blog for all to see. It’s out there. I’m exposed and vulnerable to all who read it. It has taken me a week to allow myself to think about it long enough to write about it. I think that just finally getting it out and exposed is very therapeutic. I’ve always been open and talkative about my cancer—even the grocery store clerk knows I’m a survivor. But, this one was a tough one. I’m hoping that just putting this out there into the scorching sun of the desert will kill any stigma that is attached to it. I’m hoping that everyone will continue to treat me the same—like someone who can beat this terrible disease. Like someone who still has a lot of living to live, giving to give, and loving to love.
Until tomorrow
De Ja Vu