Retirement
A Year’s Worth of Blog—A Prologue
Thursday, October 15th, 2009 | Blogging, Food, Life List, Retirement | 7 Comments
It’s a terrible thing when a person commits to do something and then just stops it cold turkey. I did that with my blog. The perfectionist in me just went too ballistic as I tried to write the perfect post and do it EVERYday! And it became so consuming in such a short amount of time. So, I just quit doing it—letting myself down and a few of you out there also. I didn’t realize that until I talked with a Washington shop owner one day and she told me what my blog meant to her, and how my struggle in coping with cancer helped her with other, non-cancer related struggles. In addition, I saw the movie, Julie and Julia, and just LOVED it. I am such a foodie, and the blog aspect of the flick was the beginning of the yearning.
Then, I came across a note from one of my mom’s friends, Jackie. She mentioned how my blog made her laugh and cry—sometimes at the same time. I suppose that’s a good thing. She also mentioned her daughter’s blog, www.paperapron.com, which I finally visited. What a beautiful blog! And a food one at that—just the right appetizer for a foodie like me. But, most of all her current post entry was about struggling to blog with the perfect food pictures and creation of the perfect unique recipes. So, it encouraged me to give it a try again.
So, it seems that God is trying to tell me something—that I should continue to reach out to others through my writing. So, I’m resolved to begin anew. And to NOT stress over the perfect post or being on a regular schedule. Hard thing for a schedule-loving perfectionist like me to do, but I’m ready to give it a good old college try. Notice that I said college—I’m thinking of applying to do some college teaching, some adjunct work like I did at Belmont Abbey. And I’m also thinking of taking some courses at East Carolina and Beaufort Community College. I’d love to learn more about archaeology, architecture, North Carolina history, southern culture, pottery, cooking, landscape design, genealogy, tablescapes, interior design, the Arts and Crafts movement, the Edwardian period, the roaring twenties, trees and their leaves, coastal and native plants, Ireland, paper arts, web design, graphic arts, lifesaving stations, and even knitting (yes-Elaine, that one’s for you)! Whew! So much to learn, so much life to live, and so much passion to impart.
Leave a shout out if you’d like. (Bloggers live for comments) Or just stroll by quietly.
Until my next non-scheduled, less than perfect post,
DeJa
Full Circle
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 | Adult Children, Cancer Survivor, Retirement | 1 Comment
It seems that God reminds us all the time that our life is a full circle that is constantly intersecting with the circles of others lives. It makes me think about how important it is to reach out to others, connect with their lives, and make a difference in even small, seemingly insignificant ways. Several things yesterday hit that home for me.
As I was walking my first daily mile with my hubby last morning, my dear friend, Lady Elaine, which is our nickname for this elegant woman, waved to us from her car as she drove off to work. She is my friend that started her entire life over by moving here to Washington alone where she knew no one and started a new career after being a devoted wife and mother for many years. Ray & I introduced her to the love of her life that she married this summer after a whirlwind romance. That larger than life smile on her face as she waved, made me think of the full circle that her life had navigated. I think of how her circle has intertwined with mine, as she has been a support and true ally whenever I needed her. I think about how different our lives would be if we had never become friends. I know that God’s divine intervention brought us together.
A second reminder yesterday came in the form of a phone call. My friend, Ed, who has the Midgett ancestral powder horn (mentioned in a previous blog), called with a serendipitous discovery. While cleaning out his mother’s home, he found a letter to her from my hubby. He had written her in 1990 requesting any family information she might have. My hubby, Ray, found her name in the Dare County history archives. This discovery comes within a few days of Ray seeing and holding the powder horn artifact that his great, great, great, great, great, great, great (yes that’s six greats) grandfather had worn by his side. Ed’s mother’s life circle had crossed Ray’s many years before, just as the circles of Ed and I had crossed at WHS.
Lastly, my son has been heavily on my mind lately. He lost his job about a month ago. He and I have been talking daily since he is not so busy working and I am now retired. Although, I want him to find a new job as soon as possible, it has been really good for me (and I think for him also) to talk everyday. It seems like when you feel the most vulnerable in life (both of us not working for different reasons), that through some daily miracle you find someone, like yourself to lean upon. My son probably doesn’t realize how much our conversations are helping me during my transition. Another full circle, he’s helping me while I’m helping him.
Now, by now, you are all probably thinking that I’ve become a little obsessed with this circle of life idea, and that I probably want us to all join hands and sing Kum Bah Yah! But, actually I just want you to think about how many lives you touch everyday—and to not be afraid to reach out, give a nod, a smile, a hello…just connect.
Until tomorrow or later,
De Ja Vu
P.S. My friend, Millie, said to give myself permission to not write everyday..so that’s why the tomorrow or later.
Hills and Valleys and Shadows
Monday, September 15th, 2008 | Adult Children, Birthdays, Cancer Survivor, Retirement, Teachers | 2 Comments
Well, I left you hanging last week with no blogs while I was riding the roller coaster of life—all of the ups and downs associated with being a cancer survivor. A lot has happened since then. Here are just a few of the hills and the valleys—amazing what can transpire in a short period of time that impacts your life.
Let’s begin with the high notes
A “54 kid turns 54—Not a Kid Anymore
Last Wednesday, I turned 54 years of age. I’ve been kidding about being born in ’54 and turning 54—seems an oddity, doesn’t it? Of course I’d rather be that than born in ’21 and turning 21—means it would be 1942 and we’d be in the midst of World War II without knowing the outcome. My son asked if I thought he’d make it to 83 years of age, since he was born in 1983. My reply was…not if you keep smoking you won’t. There I go into Mom Mode again!
Celebrating Retirement—Again??
My dear friends, Ed Hodges, who retired at the end of last school year, and Anna Sizemore, my media center cohort, hosted a wonderful retirement party for me on Friday. It was good to see my WHS family and friends. My most treasured gift was a folk art still life painted by Miss Lucretia Hughes of Washington. I understand she was quite the Renaissance woman who did many things well—genealogy, gardening, and painting, just to name a few. Mr. Hodges ( I apologize—hard to get out of teacher mode) acquired the painting through the long standing close relationship between his family and Miss Lucretia. His gift was so special because it was a meaningful token of our mutual respect and love of this town, its people and history. My hubby also was thrilled to see a family artifact of Mr. Hodges’. My hubby and he are descendents of Matthew Midgett, and Mr. Hodges has an old powder horn that belonged to Matthews’s son, Thomas Midgett. The horn is dated 1747 and has personal carvings, somewhat like scrimshaw, decorating the rim and edge. It was a true thrill of my husband to be able to touch and hold something that belonged to his family so long ago.
I always wondered if I’d ever stay anywhere long enough professionally to have a retirement party. So, this meant a lot to me. I quantified my career in my head this week—you do that when you retire and actually have time to think. Here’s what I figured out:
Elementary classroom teacher: six years in two states, 3 school districts, and taught six different grade levels or combinations: kindergarten-first, third, third-fourth, fourth, fourth-fifth, fifth grades. Central and Hardeeville Elementary Schools in South Carolina, Newland Elementary in North Carolina
Media specialist—best known as librarian: twelve years in four different schools, three different school districts, and two levels, elementary and high school. Chapel Grove Elementary & New Hope Elementary in Gaston County, Hornets Nest in Charlotte-Mecklenburg, and Washington High School in Washington.
Teacher Resource Center Director for Gaston County: 3.5 years
Instructional Technology Specialist for Gaston County: 3.5 years
Instructional Technology Director for Rowan-Salisbury Schools: 3 years
Professional Development Specialist for Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools: 2 years
Curriculum Development Director for ENTech (now known as QTL) developing a statewide technology-training program for teachers: 2 years
Whew—it makes me tired just thinking about it—think of all those teachers and young’uns!!!— as they called them in Newland, when I taught there. Not to mention, overhead projector bulbs, Vis-a-Vis pens, flip charts, Power Point presentations, floppy disks and flash drives, and DOS commands—yes, I even go back that far! C:> dir (just a little encryption for those of you that can go back there with me). And the C:> is not some new kind of smiley face either—although it could be…think of a big bubble hair do C with a pointed noise >–oops sounds like Tammy Faye! Man, am I ever getting off track because I don’t want to talk about the valleys!
Okay, if we have to go there, we must… to the valleys. Although, did you know that my minister told me that the quote about the valley of the shadow of death in Psalm 23 is probably a mistranslation. In the heat of the Middle East in Biblical times and now, to be in a shadow is where there is life. In the scorching sun is where one would most likely die. Interesting way to look at it, isn’t it?
One Big Valley
I found out last Monday, that not only am I a fallopian tube cancer survivor of seven years, but, now I’m a breast cancer survivor, also. My needle biopsy came back positive for DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ), meaning cancer of the breast milk ducts in place (in situ) meaning contained within the ducts. They say that is the BEST breast cancer to have—of course, I beg to differ, that NO breast cancer is the best kind. But, I’ll take it over the more aggressive ones like HER2, which my dear sweet friend, more like adopted daughter, Tiffany is fighting (and winning, I might add).
So, I have an appointment with my oncologist next week to discuss treatment—probably a lumpectomy and/or radiation and/or chemo.
So, there it is…I’ve written it in my blog for all to see. It’s out there. I’m exposed and vulnerable to all who read it. It has taken me a week to allow myself to think about it long enough to write about it. I think that just finally getting it out and exposed is very therapeutic. I’ve always been open and talkative about my cancer—even the grocery store clerk knows I’m a survivor. But, this one was a tough one. I’m hoping that just putting this out there into the scorching sun of the desert will kill any stigma that is attached to it. I’m hoping that everyone will continue to treat me the same—like someone who can beat this terrible disease. Like someone who still has a lot of living to live, giving to give, and loving to love.
Until tomorrow
De Ja Vu
To Do List
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 | Adult Children, Cancer Survivor, Life List, Retirement, Students, Teachers | 1 Comment
Thank you all for the comments and suggestions. I really like the one from Garlene to try a different topic each day of the week. That way if you REALLY don’t want to hear about the C word—like any of you REALLY do—you can just tune me out that day of the week. Sounds like a schedule to me—which you are supposed to enjoy NOT having when you are retired—but what the heck—I’ve had a schedule probably since I was bottle fed, so why stop now? Plus, in all honesty, I miss my routine. Those of you that know me well are definitely LOL (laughing out loud) by now—because you know how truly anal I am. And before you ask—YES, I do have a darn Retirement To Do list, but it’s not typed up yet.!
Mom Mode
Today’s short topic is worry—you need to write about what you know, so…I’ve been worrying a lot about worry lately. I realize that when I worry about a grown child, it can be perceived by them as a lack of confidence that I, as a parent, have in them. I’m working on worrying less—although I learned it well from mom. Even more reason not to worry so much myself—so my son will not learn it from me.
Last Lessons
Be tenacious—it’s a lot better than being stubborn, although there can be a fine line between the two. Don’t give up on a problem that you can’t solve. Keep at it. Step outside of the problem and look at it from another perspective. Who knows a little déjà vu may come into play? Have you heard about the theory about DNA and déjà vu? More on that tomorrow.
Life List #2
Do something bold even if it’s embarrassing. While letting the oldies station blare loudly today, I really enjoyed singing, “I Feel the Earth Move” by Carole King. So, maybe I could do Carole King Karaoke sometime? Who would listen?? Who even remembers Carole King??? know my hubby would! Both remember and listen. He’s the best!
Old School Wisdom
I promised the Good Morning thermometer-here it is:
Staff Responses:
Bewilderment: Don’t you drive your husband crazy in the morning?
Amazement: Do you HAVE to act so HAPPY?
Curiosity: Your doctor prescribed what?
Misery (and math) love company: No eye contact, terse lips, no response.
Jealousy: You’re retiring when?
Highest student responses back (remember that nods count)—29 on a Friday before a long weekend
Lowest student responses back: 7 on Tuesday morning after a long weekend
No Rules
I’m not wearing a watch today! Although around 9:30 am, I somehow instinctively knew that it was the end of first period.
No schedule to follow…should I put up the clean dishes in the dishwasher or blog? Blog or put up the dishes? Blog it is.
C Club
Being in this club is like riding a roller coaster through life—lots of ups and downs, turns and twists, over-reactions, and sometimes you scream and cry. I think about making it stop and getting off. I’d much rather be on a slow train to Texas or better yet, travel back in time to the BC Club.
Well, today is probably my last attempt at covering all these mini-topics. It’s like Anita commented—I’d lose all my newfound freedom just trying to think of something to say each day on each one. I think I’ll try something random tomorrow.
Until then,
De Ja Vu
First Day of the Rest of Your Life–and Mine
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 | Adult Children, Cancer Survivor, Life List, Retirement, Students, Teachers, Uncategorized | 6 Comments
Here I am, Day One of my retirement, first time blogger, and this nostalgic title from the seventies (or is it the eighties?) keeps popping into my head. Everything I research says a blog should have a focus—I’m struggling with that one.
Should I reach out to other cancer survivors like me? I know that I want to that—in a meaningful, funny, inspiring kind of way—words you don’t usually think of when you hear the C word. Could be a hard task, eh? How about all those teachers, like me, out there, who have retired and are going through an identity crisis?—I mean after all, I have been going to school since I was six years old. Then again—No Rules seems like a good topic. Yippee—out of school– no more rules! Hey, school and rules are common experiences for most of us. Even teachers who aren’t retired might be interested in some Old School wisdom. Maybe my focus should be on my Life List (a more positive title than the Bucket List)—but, does anybody else really care what I want to do with the rest of my life—who knows? I would sure like to know about the Life List of others—just to make sure I’m not leaving something out! Last Lessons could be a focus—a bit like the Last Lecture—after all, I’m teacher, too—oops—there’s that identity crisis—I was a teacher. I could focus on being the mom of an adult child and all the lessons I continue to learn from that role—-mostly that you always continue to worry about them, no matter how well they are doing.
So here, goes…some pearls of wisdom (make that plastic beads of insight) about the above.
C Club (count yourself lucky if you don’t know what that means)
On the first day of my retirement, today, I’m off to the doctor for a needle breast biopsy—not exactly my idea of my first day of fun! Not unless you consider table vises and needles as comfort companions. I had no idea it would be so darn complicated. Now I get to wait until Friday before I call to make an APPOINTMENT to find out my results. Seems like the new medical protocol is that you don’t give biopsy results over the phone. So much for the saying that No News is Good News!
No Rules
Since I had to go to the doctor at a specified time for a needle biopsy today—I don’t get to fully experience No Rules until tomorrow. I’m looking forward to No Alarm Clock in the morning –and gee I can wear whatever I want—NO Dress Code! Can’t wait to think daily of the rules I no longer must abide by.
Old School Wisdom
Try this experiment—teachers—I did it for years. Say Good Morning tomorrow to everyone you meet walking into your building and to your classroom. It’s a great thermometer for the day—what were fellow colleagues responses? I also counted the high school student responses—even a nod counts. More tomorrow on the Good Morning thermometer scale.
Life List #1
A friend once walked onto my porch and said to me—“If I had the view of the river that you have from this porch, I’d drink coffee and eat breakfast here everyday”. So number one my Life List—stop to smell the roses, especially if the roses grown in your own yard—enjoy what you have and take advantage of it—everyday. Today I sat in the swing, looked at the wide Pamlico, while I talked with my mom who lives five hours away. And I plan to sip a little wine from there this evening.
Last Lessons
Never give up on someone that you care about—even if they are not living up to their potential. Reach out and help them to reach their potential. It is easier for you to see their potential than it is for them to see it for themselves. It is your responsibility to help them hold up the mirror and look at themselves in a more positive light.
Mom Mode
Learn to laugh when they have you pegged. My son, on a visit this weekend, commented that I dress the way I decorate. It sounds ludicrous, but it’s true. My latest greatest favorite color in my house is teal. Even my front door is painted teal. Yes, I was wearing teal when he mentioned this. So, now I’m dressing to match my front door!&*~!
Until tomorrow,
De Ja Vu